List of humorous units of measurement
Updated: 5/20/2026, 8:07:46 PM Wikipedia source
Many people have made use of, or invented, units of measurement intended primarily for their humor value. This is a list of such units invented by sources that are notable for reasons other than having made the unit itself, and that are widely known in the Anglophone world for their humor value.
Tables
· Systems › FFF units
furlong
furlong
Unit
furlong
Dimension
length
Definition
660 ft
SI Value
201 m
firkin
firkin
Unit
firkin
Dimension
mass
Definition
90 lb
SI Value
40 kg
fortnight
fortnight
Unit
fortnight
Dimension
time
Definition
14 days
SI Value
1,209,600 s
| Unit | Dimension | Definition | SI Value |
| furlong | length | 660 ft | 201 m |
| firkin | mass | 90 lb | 40 kg |
| fortnight | time | 14 days | 1,209,600 s |
· Non-conventional › Rictus scale (media coverage of earthquakes)
1
1
Rictus scale #
1
Richter scale equivalent
0–3
Media coverage
Small articles in local papers
2
2
Rictus scale #
2
Richter scale equivalent
3–5
Media coverage
Lead story on local news; mentioned on network news
3
3
Rictus scale #
3
Richter scale equivalent
5–6
Media coverage
Lead story on network news; wire-service photos appear in newspapers nationally; governor visits scene
4
4
Rictus scale #
4
Richter scale equivalent
6 –7
Media coverage
Network correspondents sent to scene; president visits area; commemorative T-shirts appear
5
5
Rictus scale #
5
Richter scale equivalent
7 +
Media coverage
Covers of weekly news magazines; network specials; "instant books" appear
| Rictus scale # | Richter scale equivalent | Media coverage |
| 1 | 0–3 | Small articles in local papers |
| 2 | 3–5 | Lead story on local news; mentioned on network news |
| 3 | 5–6 | Lead story on network news; wire-service photos appear in newspapers nationally; governor visits scene |
| 4 | 6 –7 | Network correspondents sent to scene; president visits area; commemorative T-shirts appear |
| 5 | 7 + | Covers of weekly news magazines; network specials; "instant books" appear |
· Non-conventional › Standardized Giraffe Unit (animal size)
Corgi
Corgi
Animal
Corgi
SGUs
0
Canada Goose
Canada Goose
Animal
Canada Goose
SGUs
0
Duck
Duck
Animal
Duck
SGUs
0
Penguin
Penguin
Animal
Penguin
SGUs
0
Half a giraffe
Half a giraffe
Animal
Half a giraffe
SGUs
0
Peacock
Peacock
Animal
Peacock
SGUs
0
Elephant
Elephant
Animal
Elephant
SGUs
1
| Animal | SGUs |
| Corgi | 0 |
| Canada Goose | 0 |
| Duck | 0 |
| Penguin | 0 |
| Half a giraffe | 0 |
| Peacock | 0 |
| Elephant | 1 |
References
- The firkin is normally a unit of volume equal to nine imperial gallons (41 L). The "firkin" of the FFF system is the fir
- Dimwit Flathead defoliated the Fublio Valley to make a huge statue of himself. The literature for Zork describes the are
- itotdhttps://itotd.com/articles/2987/furlongs-per-fortnight/
- "FAQ for newsgroup UK , version 2&3/7th"https://web.archive.org/web/20060306161426/http://www.uk-rec-sheds.org.uk/faq60.txt
- "The Potrzebie System of Weights and Measures"https://www.neatorama.com/2008/01/15/the-potrzebie-system-of-weights-and-measures/
- "sagan"http://catb.org/jargon/html/S/sagan.html
- Plant Signal Transductionhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4242307
- jargonhttp://jargon.net/jargonfile/a/attoparsec.html
- This Book Warps Space and Timehttps://books.google.com/books?id=wUrZ4buWw60C&q=beard-second&pg=PA13
- Physics Handbook for Science and Engineering
- "Google Search: 5 nanometers in beard-seconds"https://www.google.com/search?q=5+nanometers+in+beard-seconds
- "Australian slang"https://www.australianculture.org/australian-slang/
- Parker, Andy (December 5, 2017). Jimmy Griffin Snow Index for the December 5-8, 2017 lake-effect snow event. WKBW-TV offhttps://pbs.twimg.com/media/DQR52B4XkAEiCbO.jpg
- "How Many? A Dictionary of Units of Measurement"https://web.archive.org/web/20140701141032/http://www.unc.edu/~rowlett/units/dictM.html
- CBChttps://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/sudbury/canuck-origins-might-surprise-1.4186451
- Langenscheidt Schwäbisch für Anfängerhttps://books.google.com/books?id=uhRBmLMSnHgC&pg=PT12
- "From the AICGS Bookshelf: Out of the Tower"http://www.aicgs.org/2014/04/from-the-aicgs-bookshelf-out-of-the-tower/
- The Meaning of Liff
- MIT Newshttp://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2009/smoot-0604.html
- The Jargon File (version 4 )http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/S/smoot.html